Imagine the scene….it is a beautiful evening in February. It is unseasonably warm and the colours as the sun slowly begins its descent behind the mountains is breathtaking. There is an eerie stillness in the air and the quietness is almost deafening. Suddenly through the crisp silence is the sound of pounding feet and gasping of breath. It’s getting quicker and louder. Is someone being chased? Shhhhh listen….. is that screams? Is this breathtaking setting about to become the scene of a grisly murder?? Through the silence rings the words “I hate you more than both my ex-husbands”. And my goodness did I mean it. Tom AKA Mary Poppins decided on Monday that he would make me run up and down dent. It was one of the worst hours of my life and I have never used the word “hate” so much in my life and at that moment I really meant it. Poor Tom was subject to a barrage of abuse. I shouted, I swore, I had a full on strop, I instructed him not to speak to me and told him that he is not in any way my friend. The worst thing was the more unkind I was to him the more he would make me run, and he thought it was hilarious. I am sorry, but there is no one in their right mind who would find hill sprints up Dent even remotely funny. I had puke in my mouth and I was fighting back the tears, there was no way I was going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. His words of encouragement were tinged with humour which only further infuriated me. I don’t know how, but with legs burning, unable to breathe with the metallic taste of sick in my mouth I finally made it to the top. I tried to appreciate the beauty of the view I really did, but all I could say when Tom told me how beautiful it looked was “I don’t care, just go away” or something to that effect which I really can’t put in print but it would have made a sailor blush.
Apologies to those of you who feel disappointed that I didn’t write last week. I actually was chuffed to bits that a few people have contacted me to ask where my blog was as sometimes I wonder if anyone actually reads it. The reasons I didn’t write last week was firstly because it was my Birthday (Happy Birthday to me) and secondly I have actually been really poorly with a viral infection in my voicebox and glands. I didn’t have much of a voice at all and the Doctor gave me antibiotics and told me to rest my voice and not speak – I mean really!!! Me not speak, he obviously had never met me before.
Anyhow not running related but fitness related I have to share a quick story with you. You know how I love a story. So last weekend me and my amazing girlfriends went for a pole dancing workshop. So let me quickly give you a little description of each of my amazing girls:
Jane – The flexible one. Once she has a drink she can do the splits and the best dance moves. No one would ever win a dance off against Jane.
Karen – The quiet one but speaks to everyone and actually knows everyone. She can out party all of us.
Claire – the Mary Poppins of the group, super fit, brilliant at everything she does but always maintains a certain level of “grown upness”.
Rachel – Hates fitness more than anything else in the world and I can’t actually believe she agreed to Pole Dance. Totally entertaining, always has a story and makes us all laugh.
So the workshop, the instructor says “right let’s start with a wam up.” Rachel gave her a death stare as we start running on the spot. “And now squats”
“Squats, squats??? I didn’t realise we were going to be doing proper bloody exercise. I’m knackered already!” The poor instructor really hadn’t realised what she was going to be subject to. Not wanting to infuriate the now raging Rachel she said we would do some floor work. We were told to tense our stomachs which resulted in “Parp, I am so sorry I just farted.” Said Karen. Well that was it I could not carry on for laughing. Quickly wrapping up the warm up we moved on to the poles. Obviously the instructor looked beautiful and graceful as she spun around the pole. I on the other hand looked like an uncoordinated hippopotamus. They taught us a number of different holds and spins. Claire obviously rocked it without any challenge at all and looked like she had been doing it for years, Jane started strong with her amazing flexibility playing to her advantage. But as we continued she started to suffer from motion sickness with all the spins. However, forever the trouper she didn’t give up and continued to smash it.
Karen managed to hold in her wind for the rest of the class and mastered the holds and spins really well and our lovely Rachel after a hilarious beginning actually smashed it. We were so good the instructor even got us to perform a whole routine with a few added sexy bits which were easy to do without much skill needed – I think they were for me to make me feel better. It was such good fun and extremely hard work but OMG I couldn’t move for two days after. I had stiffness in places I didn’t know you could get stiffness in and bruises in places that really shouldn’t have that type of contact.
Anyhow moving on. It is only a few weeks before I do the Cockermouth 10k and it feels like September is creeping up on me and I don’t feel any where near ready. I have got to up my running game and get this running malarkey nailed!
As always if you have enjoyed reading this blog and want to support an amazing cause please do sponsor me at the following link:
https://www.goldengiving.com/fundraising/emma-jayne-gooch-gnr-2019
Until next time…..
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