Boo!!! Yes it’s me I am back. I know it has been far too long, months in fact, since I last wrote. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to write, and its not as if I haven’t had a million trillion things to write about, I just don’t seem to have time to do ANYTHING! Why does life go by so very quickly and why do days seem so short?
Whilst I haven’t had time to write you will be pleased to know I have been running. In fact I’ve been running at least 3 times a week. I have even, alongside Tom and Andy, set up a Westlakes 5k Running Club. 5.20pm for a 5.30pm start every Wednesday at Ingwell Hall short stay car park. It’s a great group and each week we have people who will run or walk the 5k. We have beginners like me to super pros like Tom and Andy. If you want to share my running pain you should come along and join us.
Over the past 10 weeks whilst training for the Great North Run, I have learned some valuable running lessons. I really shouldn’t share them, but I am hoping that by sharing them I may make some of you laugh, which will make you dig deep and sponsor me to raise money for the amazing Calderwood House.
- It doesn’t get easier – the first mile is always the worst!
- Passing wind is a running hazard
- Remember you might think they are quiet but you are wearing headphones
- Dogs constantly try to trip you up, chase you or bite you when running past them
- Flying insects are a bloody nuisance. They are very fond of flying into eyes, mouths, nostrils and ears. And no matter how many people say it to you: no they don’t contribute to your daily protein intake
- A good padded bra is essential even to the most small breasted amongst us – nipple chaffing is real and my gosh sore nipples is not enjoyable
- Wedgies occur on every run and are open to both front and back – running along pulling them out isn’t really acceptable even when necessary
- Wearing running pants that are too big results in constant pulling up of said pants and a builders bum you could park a bike in
- Wearing running pants that are too small result in something that would make the biggest of camels jealous
- Running with a hangover does result in vomit
- Running after eating, especially binge eating, is not cool and also results in vomit
- Running solo is very dangerous for over thinkers like me. Not only do you bring to mind all your problems, you then make up ones that aren’t even there
- Blisters from long runs are huge and sore
- Stomach cramps and needing a number 2 during the run is a common problem
- Full on wetting yourself during a run is also a weekly occurrence, but not openly spoken about
So there you have my top 15 running lessons. It has been one hell of a journey from going from not being able to run one mile in January to on Monday running 11.33 yes you read that right. I – Me – Emma-Jayne ran a whole big girl 11.33 miles. With just 5 weeks to go until the GNR which is 13.1 miles I am for the first time beginning to feel a little bit confident.
About 5 weeks ago I was really struggling and couldn’t get over around 6 miles (10k). My lovely friend Andy, decided to step in and help me. So we have been meeting every Monday and increasing the run by about a mile each week. He gave me some amazing advise, and I stripped my speed back and didn’t try to race on every run and instead have found a comfortable pace which is sustainable. The result of this means that I have enough breath when I run to still speak, so poor Andy has had to put up with me talking non stop for 2 hours each week. Although unlike with Tom, I don’t swear at him or moan and grumble about running.
I have one quick story I have to share as it is hilarious. On our third week we were planning an 8 mile run and my beautiful friend Sarah decided she would come with Andy and I. Not only would she come, but she decided she would plan the route. So off we went and OMG she took us up a massive mountain, all loose stone and track it was full on fell running. I was raging and it went on and on. I kept asking her when we would be turning off and coming back down and she kept assuring me it was soon. She then admitted that she had actually never run the route before she had only ever done it on the horse and it really didn’t seem as steep on a horse – no shit! There finally was a gate and I asked Sarah if that was the way and she was adamant the gate was further up the mountain. We ran about another mile up and then she realised that actually that was the gate we should have gone through. I turned to her and said “You can plan a bloody Olympic stadium but you can’t plan a bloody run” I thought I was hilarious but karma always gets you so whilst I popped for a bush wee I managed to put my bottom onto a stinging nettle. We finally finished our 8 mile run which turned into 9.5 miles of hell and a very sore bum cheek.
Please remember I am subjecting myself to this pain for the wonderful Calderwood house, which doesn’t only change lives but saves them. Please dig deep and help us help those who find themselves homeless in Copeland.
https://www.goldengiving.com/fundraising/emma-jayne-gooch-gnr-2019
Emma-Jayne's Back 