Boo!!! Yes it’s me I am back. I know it has been far too long, months in fact, since I last wrote. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to write, and its not as if I haven’t had a million trillion things to write about, I just don’t seem to have time to do ANYTHING! Why does life go by so very quickly and why do days seem so short?

Whilst I haven’t had time to write you will be pleased to know I have been running. In fact I’ve been running at least 3 times a week. I have even, alongside Tom and Andy, set up a Westlakes 5k Running Club. 5.20pm for a 5.30pm start every Wednesday at Ingwell Hall short stay car park. It’s a great group and each week we have people who will run or walk the 5k. We have beginners like me to super pros like Tom and Andy. If you want to share my running pain you should come along and join us. 

Over the past 10 weeks whilst training for the Great North Run, I have learned some valuable running lessons. I really shouldn’t share them, but I am hoping that by sharing them I may make some of you laugh, which will make you dig deep and sponsor me to raise money for the amazing Calderwood House. 

1. It doesn’t get easier – the first mile is always the worst!
2. Passing wind is a running hazard
3. Remember you might think they are quiet but you are wearing headphones
4. Dogs constantly try to trip you up, chase you or bite you when running past them
5. Flying insects are a bloody nuisance. They are very fond of flying into eyes, mouths, nostrils and ears. And no matter how many people say it to you: no they don’t contribute to your daily protein intake
6. A good padded bra is essential even to the most small breasted amongst us – nipple chaffing is real and my gosh sore nipples is not enjoyable
7. Wedgies occur on every run and are open to both front and back – running along pulling them out isn’t really acceptable even when necessary
8. Wearing running pants that are too big results in constant pulling up of said pants and a builders bum you could park a bike in
9. Wearing running pants that are too small result in something that would make the biggest of camels jealous
10. Running with a hangover does result in vomit
11. Running after eating, especially binge eating, is not cool and also results in vomit
12. Running solo is very dangerous for over thinkers like me. Not only do you bring to mind all your problems, you then make up ones that aren’t even there
13. Blisters from long runs are huge and sore
14. Stomach cramps and needing a number 2 during the run is a common problem 
15. Full on wetting yourself during a run is also a weekly occurrence, but not openly spoken about

So there you have my top 15 running lessons. It has been one hell of a journey from going from not being able to run one mile in January to on Monday running 11.33 yes you read that right. I – Me – Emma-Jayne ran a whole big girl 11.33 miles. With just 5 weeks to go until the GNR which is 13.1 miles I am for the first time beginning to feel a little bit confident.

About 5 weeks ago I was really struggling and couldn’t get over around 6 miles (10k). My lovely friend Andy, decided to step in and help me. So we have been meeting every Monday and increasing the run by about a mile each week. He gave me some amazing advise, and I stripped my speed back and didn’t try to race on every run and instead have found a comfortable pace which is sustainable. The result of this means that I have enough breath when I run to still speak, so poor Andy has had to put up with me talking non stop for 2 hours each week. Although unlike with Tom, I don’t swear at him or moan and grumble about running. 

I have one quick story I have to share as it is hilarious. On our third week we were planning an 8 mile run and my beautiful friend Sarah decided she would come with Andy and I. Not only would she come, but she decided she would plan the route. So off we went and OMG she took us up a massive mountain, all loose stone and track it was full on fell running. I was raging and it went on and on. I kept asking her when we would be turning off and coming back down and she kept assuring me it was soon. She then admitted that she had actually never run the route before she had only ever done it on the horse and it really didn’t seem as steep on a horse – no shit! There finally was a gate and I asked Sarah if that was the way and she was adamant the gate was further up the mountain. We ran about another mile up and then she realised that actually that was the gate we should have gone through. I turned to her and said “You can plan a bloody Olympic stadium but you can’t plan a bloody run” I thought I was hilarious but karma always gets you so whilst I popped for a bush wee I managed to put my bottom onto a stinging nettle. We finally finished our 8 mile run which turned into 9.5 miles of hell and a very sore bum cheek.

Please remember I am subjecting myself to this pain for the wonderful Calderwood house, which doesn’t only change lives but saves them. Please dig deep and help us help those who find themselves homeless in Copeland.

https://www.goldengiving.com/fundraising/emma-jayne-gooch-gnr-2019

I’m back. After a few weeks of not really running I received a dressing down not only from Tom aka Mary Poppins but also from my new ‘friend’ and I use that term extremely loosely, Andy, who is another running fanatic. 

They reminded me that I had done the 10k but I still have a long way to go and it isn’t a huge amount of time until the Great North Run.

Tom also told me I needed to get back writing as it keeps me focussed and motivated, especially when we raise lots of money for Calderwood House. We are also planning something really exciting that many of you can get involved with which I will be sharing with you soon.

I now have a 12 week training programme that Tom has given me and told me I need to start following, so I decided to start it today and let me tell you why:

To me Easter is about new beginnings, letting go of the past and the mindset that is holding you back and focus on the new. Rebirth – allowing yourself to be whatever you want to be. Letting go of past negativity and self doubt and give way to self belief, determination and knowing that if you work hard you can achieve whatever you want to achieve. 

With this in mind I am seeing today as my new beginning and whilst I haven’t yet started my new healthy eating (I have actually got 4 Easter Eggs to eat and I am actually eating one whilst I type) at least my training has started. 

After a weekend full of eating and drinking and with the sun shining running was the last thing I wanted to do, but I knew I had to suck it up and get on with it. I asked the girls if they would run with me and they turned me down flat, so with some good negotiation skills they agreed to cycle with me instead. We set off together and off they went leaving me for dust – thanks girls.

So alone, hungover and with my liver screaming for some rehydration from it’s pickled state, I ran. OMG this was one of my hardest runs ever. The sweat was dripping off me, my stomach was killing and I was sure I was going to be sick.

Now as per my new plan I only needed to run for 15 minutes, but I decided to do my 3.5 miler which takes about 35 minutes. The girls were waiting for me at the turnaround point and then they were off again and I knew they would be home in no time.

As I continued to run and the sweat and snot dripped from my face.(What a gem hey a real looker) I started to wonder if I would die right there of heat exhaustion and pickled liver. I wondered that if I collapsed how long would it be before the girls would come to try and find me or would I be left out there on the cycle track until the foxes came to eat me?? 

I then considered walking, but why would I walk when I had ran this route a number of times??? Because it was hot so hot and it is never hot in Cumbria and if I didn’t walk maybe my liver would explode. And I nearly did it, I nearly stopped but then I remembered Easter and new beginnings and that I could actually do anything I wanted to and whilst yes I could walk I also knew that I have got this. I am capable of doing anything I want to and I am not going to let myself forget that – at least not on my first run of the new programme.

Remember I am running and writing for the amazing Calderwood House so don’t forget to sponsor and thank you so much to all those amazing people who have already sponsored. 

https://www.goldengiving.com/fundraising/emma-jayne-gooch-gnr-2019

Until next time…..

The sun was shining but it wasn’t too hot. The air was cool in my lungs and the gentle breeze was taking the heat from my face. I could hear the pounding of my feet – so fast, so controlled. I felt like I was flying not running. Instead of struggling at the back I was approaching the front. It was effortless, easy, enjoyable – why was I worried about doing this? I suddenly understood the appeal of running. I wasn’t scowling, covered in snot and bright red, I was like those other girls – no thats not true I wasn’t like them I was better than them. I was beating them and I was nearly at the finish line……..beep beep beep beep! I catapulted out of bed with the feeling of dread heavy in the pit of my stomach. It was Sunday, the day of the Cockermouth 10k and that my friends was the dream I was pulled from by my alarm. 

As you know from my last blog I was absolutely dreading this day. I had gone through tears and tantrums but nothing had made me feel better and here I was about to embark on what I imagined would be one of the hardest challenges of my life. With dread in my heart I started to dress in my hideous Wonder Woman costume. I looked out of the window and as if by magic the skies opened and it started to full on hail!! Could the day get any worse? Yes it could. I then went through the should I eat quandary. I didn’t want to eat and risk needing the toilet when I was running. I mean yes it would make me run faster but running has a habit of making “things” happen fast. I settled on a banana and waited for Tom. He arrived at 7.30am – really!!! 7.30’s shouldn’t even exist on a Sunday. I felt sick to the pit of my stomach as he pulled up. I headed outside and saw much to my despair he was wearing normal running clothes. After my complete melt down he assured me he had Mary Poppins in the car and agreed to put it on when we arrived. On the journey Tom and I fell out and this is the reason why:

Tom had proper lectured me about how I could not drink or stay up late at all over the weekend as if I did I would not only be letting myself down but I would be letting him down and Calderwood House. As such, being the good obedient girl that I am, I adhered to the “rules”. However he basked in joy telling me that he went to a dinner party on Friday night where he ate lovely food, drank lovely wine and got home late. As if that wasn’t bad enough he then proceeded to tell me that he hadn’t got to bed until 1am as he was out drinking!!! I mean really??? How is that even acceptable. 

We arrived at the sports centre and Tom put on his Mary Poppins outfit. Right there all was forgotten and I couldn’t stop laughing, he looked amazing. We went to register and as I looked around I noticed we were actually the only people in fancy dress. That is when it hit me – this is one serious running event. These weren’t people who were just out for a laugh these were people who took running seriously. These were real athletes. Suddenly I felt incredibly sick and the realisation that coming last was a strong possibility made my eyes sting as I tried not to cry. I was not ready for this and would rather be any where else but there. Tom introduced me to his really lovely friend Carlos who runs Carlos Reina Photography and was the photographer for the day. He kindly offered to do all the photos of Tom and I for free in supporting Calderwood House. If any of you need a photographer for events or business get in touch with him.

I told Tom that my first and main goal was to finish the 10k. My second goal was to complete in just under an hour maybe 58 or 59 minutes. I could see the look of “never in a million years” cross Toms face. He proceeded to tell me to do that we would have to run 9min 30sec miles and my comfortable pace is 10.17.

Before we knew it we were ready to go. We stood near the back ready for the start. 5 (OMG this shit just got real) 4 (I can’t do this) 3 (I’m going to be sick) 2 (I need a wee) 1 (Tom if i die this is the code for my phone so you can call my Mum and tell her) Go – We were off. I started strong and felt good but I was pushing hard. I was over taking people and feeling pretty smug about it. For some reason Tom kept saying lets just set the pace here but no Little Miss Competitive thought she knew better and pushed on. Then the hills kicked in and then I began struggling for breath. Not only that but my stupid trousers kept falling down. A valuable lesson learnt that you should never do a running event in clothes you have never run in before. We finally hit the 3km mark and I turned to Tom and said “I am actually going to die. How are we only at 3km? I can’t do it.” Tom in the way only Tom can get away with pretty much told me to suck it up and keep running. More and more people were passing us and the hills were getting higher. I was giving it my all but it was so hard. Tom was giving me words of encouragement but I actually could not speak. I was so exhausted I couldn’t even swear at him. We finally hit the 5k mark and after all that climbing the journey back was mostly down hill. Even so it was still so tough and Tom kept telling me to run harder but I couldn’t I was running as best as I could. People spoke to me as they passed but all I could manage was a grunt. The finish line was getting closer but I really didn’t think I could do it. I was exhausted and I had nothing left. Finally we crossed the finish line. As is always the case I rushed for a wee whilst Tom got into the queue for the results. I sat on the toilet and cried. I actually did it, i just ran 10k. I felt totally overwhelmed and didn’t know how to feel. I joined Tom and they passed me my piece of paper. I had done it – I ran the Cockermouth 10k, my first race ever in 58 minutes!!

So I have some thank you’s that I need to make. Firstly to the 7 amazing people who have sponsored me since my last blog and offered me such wonderful words of support. Your kind words mean the world to me and we have now raised £575 for Calderwood House. I would really love to get this up to £1000. So if you haven’t yet sponsored and would like to please follow the link:

https://www.goldengiving.com/fundraising/emma-jayne-gooch-gnr-2019

I need to thank Tom for continuing to push me. I categorically would not have completed the 10k without him. And finally I need to thank my beautiful friends and family who support and love me in all I do.

Until next time……

Crying – full on crying! Why do I put myself through this. Today is the day before the Cockermouth 10k and I am going to try and describe how I am feeling. I know some of you “Mary Poppins” people like Tom, are not going to understatnd this in any way; but those of you like me who understand what it means to have to struggle, work and fight for every achievement will absolutely get it.

I have never been good at sport, I was never picked first for school teams and when the perfect girls at school were picking teams I was always in the last few to be picked. Because of this sport has never been something I enjoy. I never feel good enough and know I will never come first and will always be totally rubbish at it. I remember when the girls were young and I was training for hell on the harbour side. We were doing these beach runs and I was really trying and pushing myself as much as I possibly could. The girls were watching and afterwards Caity turned to me and said “Mummy why are you not as good as all the other people?” And that sums up my running! I am not as good as the other people. I don’t like doing it, I’m not good at it and it hugely plays into my biggest demon which is the fear of failing! I have been trying with my training, but I have been struggling for time to get my runs in with balancing work, the girls and my social life. I know in my heart though these are just big fat excuses! My head has just not been in it and that’s because I don’t feel good enough. I’m almost self sabotaging so the failure won’t feel so bad. I can justify my failure by the fact I didn’t train hard enough, I ate too much, I’m not in good enough shape etc. So how am I feeling about tomorrow…..petrified, upset, worried, sick – actually physically sick! I am so worried about tomorrow that I have actually been working out how I can give all my sponsorship money back and just not do it. I mean if this is how I feel before a 10k, how an earth will I feel before the Great North Run??? I just don’t think I can put myself through it. To make matters worse last night my friend was having a party and I know these parties go on to at least 6.30am are alcohol fuelled and awesome fun, but I knew if I went I wouldn’t even manage to get out of bed for the run let alone do it, so under the stern words of Tom I went to town with them all for a couple of non alcoholic drinks and then drove home – my life actually sucks!!

Oh and another thing!! Because I currently view myself as enormously fat my Wonder Woman costume is 2 sizes too big and I look like a massive hippopotamus! Tomorrow is actually going to be the worst day of my life – fact!!!

There are 3 things that are pushing me through and making me go through with this:

1. My commitment to Rachel and Calderwood House. If you haven’t sponsored me yet please do because Calderwood House is a fantastic social enterprise that doesn’t only change live it saves them
2. My commitment to Tom. Although most of the time I hate him, the very fact that he believes in my enough to invest time training me and putting up with all my abuse means more to me than he will ever know
3. The fact that after the race I am going to have a well earned drink! 

Wish me luck and I will write again when it is all over and I have recovered!

Until next time……

https://www.goldengiving.com/fundraising/emma-jayne-gooch-gnr-2019

Imagine the scene….it is a beautiful evening in February. It is unseasonably warm and the colours as the sun slowly begins its descent behind the mountains is breathtaking. There is an eerie stillness in the air and the quietness is almost deafening. Suddenly through the crisp silence is the sound of pounding feet and gasping of breath. It’s getting quicker and louder. Is someone being chased? Shhhhh listen….. is that screams? Is this breathtaking setting about to become the scene of a grisly murder?? Through the silence rings the words “I hate you more than both my ex-husbands”. And my goodness did I mean it. Tom AKA Mary Poppins decided on Monday that he would make me run up and down dent. It was one of the worst hours of my life and I have never used the word “hate” so much in my life and at that moment I really meant it. Poor Tom was subject to a barrage of abuse. I shouted, I swore, I had a full on strop, I instructed him not to speak to me and told him that he is not in any way my friend. The worst thing was the more unkind I was to him the more he would make me run, and he thought it was hilarious. I am sorry, but there is no one in their right mind who would find hill sprints up Dent even remotely funny. I had puke in my mouth and I was fighting back the tears, there was no way I was going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.    His words of encouragement were tinged with humour which only further infuriated me. I don’t know how, but with legs burning, unable to breathe with the metallic taste of sick in my mouth I finally made it to the top. I tried to appreciate the beauty of the view I really did,  but all I could say when Tom told me how beautiful it looked was “I don’t care, just go away” or something to that effect which I really can’t put in print but it would have made a sailor blush.

Apologies to those of you who feel disappointed that I didn’t write last week. I actually was chuffed to bits that a few people have contacted me to ask where my blog was as sometimes I wonder if anyone actually reads it. The reasons I didn’t write last week was firstly because it was my Birthday (Happy Birthday to me) and secondly I have actually been really poorly with a viral infection in my voicebox and glands. I didn’t have much of a voice at all and the Doctor gave me antibiotics and told me to rest my voice and not speak  – I mean really!!! Me not speak, he obviously had never met me before.

Anyhow not running related but fitness related I have to share a quick story with you. You know how I love a story. So last weekend me and my amazing girlfriends went for a pole dancing workshop. So let me quickly give you a little description of each of my amazing girls:

Jane – The flexible one. Once she has a drink she can do the splits and the best dance moves. No one would ever win a dance off against Jane.

Karen – The quiet one but speaks to everyone and actually knows everyone. She can out party all of us.

Claire – the Mary Poppins of the group, super fit, brilliant at everything she does but always maintains a certain level of “grown upness”.

Rachel – Hates fitness more than anything else in the world and I can’t actually believe she agreed to Pole Dance. Totally entertaining, always has a story and makes us all laugh.

So the workshop, the instructor says  “right let’s start with a wam up.” Rachel gave her a death stare as we start running on the spot. “And now squats” 

“Squats, squats??? I didn’t realise we were going to be doing proper bloody exercise. I’m knackered already!” The poor instructor really hadn’t realised what she was going to be subject to. Not wanting to infuriate the now raging Rachel she said we would do some floor work. We  were told to tense our stomachs which resulted in  “Parp, I am so sorry I just farted.” Said Karen. Well that was it I could not carry on for laughing. Quickly wrapping up the warm up we moved on to the poles. Obviously the instructor looked beautiful and graceful as she spun around the pole. I on the other hand looked like an uncoordinated hippopotamus. They taught us a number of different holds and spins. Claire obviously rocked it without any challenge at all and looked like she had been doing it for years, Jane started strong with her amazing flexibility playing to her advantage. But as we continued she started to suffer from motion sickness with all the spins. However, forever the trouper she didn’t give up and continued to smash it. 

Karen managed to hold in her wind for the rest of the class and mastered the holds and spins really well and our lovely Rachel after a hilarious beginning actually smashed it. We were so good the instructor even got us to perform a whole routine with a few added sexy bits which were easy to do without much skill needed – I think they were for me to make me feel better. It was such good fun and extremely hard work but OMG I couldn’t move for two days after. I had stiffness in places I didn’t know you could get stiffness in and bruises in places that really shouldn’t have that type of contact. 

Anyhow moving on. It is only a few weeks before I do the Cockermouth 10k and it feels like September is creeping up on me and I don’t feel any where near ready. I have got to up my running game and get this running malarkey nailed!

As always if you have enjoyed reading this blog and want to support an amazing cause please do sponsor me at the following link:   

https://www.goldengiving.com/fundraising/emma-jayne-gooch-gnr-2019

Until next time…..

This week I am feeling quite pleased with myself and it has certainly been an eventful week.

On Thursday evening I was with Tom and his friend Simon at a dinner. Both are members of St Bees Triers and both were trying to convince me to join. Now Simon thought telling me that an 80 year old man goes would encourage me to join. He obviously doesn’t read my blog and doesn’t know about Mr 85 from the swimming pool. The thing is I am so competitive, and I will be no where near the level of the other runners and I won’t enjoy it one iota. Still rather than plying me with drink to convince me, instead they plied me with sweets from the sweet cart and OMG were they amazing. There were these strawberry sticks that were just the best sweet I have ever had. The problem with sweets that not a lot of people know is that there is a certain E number that has a huge effect on me and turns me completely hyperactive and has me talking a 100 miles an hour, honestly even I can’t keep up with my conversation. As the sweets were consumed just before leaving, this meant I walked into my house at 11.30pm with a need to speak to someone. So my poor friend was called, woken and had to listen to me for at least half an hour as I refused to get off the phone as I had so much to say.

Next morning I set my alarm early even though I was on holiday as I had decided I needed to go for a run as I was off to Newcastle for the weekend and knew I wouldn’t get another chance. The only problem was the weather – it was raining and blowing a full on gale. My sensible head was telling me that no one in their right mind would go out in that weather, but the guilt of not going and the knowledge that the annoying voice in my head would make me feel like shit all weekend if I didn’t go, I decided to suck it up and face the weather.

I started the run and was immediately wet through. There was so much flooding that the only option was to run through the puddles meaning my feet were wet and cold, which obviously resulted in me needing a wee – pretty standard.

As I ran the wind was pushing against me from the side and at one point it was so strong it actually sent me flying into the ditch. I was running with an actual bend in the middle of me due to the wind. I wish someone was with me to video it as I have never experienced anything like it in my life. Whilst the wind was bad I think the biggest challenge was the rain. It slashed across my face like razor blades but worse, having just had eyelash extensions, the rain drops kept getting stuck on them and as was the weight and the fact they didn’t seep through the lashes, my whole eyelid started to sag and I couldn’t keep my eyes open through the weight of my eye lashes. I looked hilarious.

I only saw one person on my run and that was a man on a bike. He shouted “What you doing out in this weather Lass” I responded with “Tom made me do it!” And right there I found my new mantra for whenever I do something questionable, silly or wrong my response will simply be “Tom made me do it!”

Needless to say it was just a 3 miler I took on and when I got home I could actually wring out my clothes they were so wet, right through to my underwear. My legs were bright red and despite a hot shower I couldn’t take away the stinging pain of coldness. So there I stood with a hairdryer trying to defrost myself.

Monday was my second run and my Tom run. I nearly didn’t go as I had an incredibly sore tummy (probably due to over indulgence of the weekend) but Tom was allowing no excuses. Apart from the most horrific stomach cramps the run was pretty uneventful. Tom and I came to two agreements; first if by the end of this month we get the sponsorship up to £400 we are currently at £350 then I will join St Bees Triers. Secondly and mostly down to my negotiation skills, actually that’s bull crap it is nothing to do with my negotiation skills it is down to Tom not being able to put up with anymore of my relentless whining – I am doing Cockermouth 10k dressed as Wonder Woman and Tom is going to be an amazing Mary Poppins!

Don’t forget if you want to sponsor please follow the link:

https://www.goldengiving.com/fundraising/emma-jayne-gooch-gnr-2019

Until next time…..

It’s been a tough week this week and I have completely lost my mojo. I am getting really frustrated with myself which really doesn’t help. Like many of you reading this blog I have this inner voice that always wants me to fail. It is the voice that tells me how shit I am, how fat I am, how ugly I am, how I don’t deserve success. It’s the voice that makes you feel inadequate in all situations. Normally I am really good at quietening that voice but this week it has been full on shouting. As a result, finding the motivation to run this week has been really tough and in fact other than the 2 runs I have done, and let’s be honest it was only the knowledge that I was going to be writing a blog that pushed me on, I haven’t done any exercise. I need to get myself back in the gym but I just can’t get my head in the right place. Sometimes the voice in your head and the negativity of others can really drive how you behave in all parts of your life. I just want to sit on the sofa in my PJ’s eating pizza and watching Netflix. Whilst I mention Netflix, I have to tell you a funny story. My girls asked me what I was going to do Sunday evening so I told them “Netflix and Chill”. Both of them started howling with laughter. I was completed confused. So Caity, my 12 year old said “Mummy are you going to have sex?” What an earth “Why would you ask that Caity that’s very rude??” Maddy now crying with tears explains to me that Netflix and Chill doesn’t actually mean watch Netflix and relax it means watch Netflix and have sex. Of course, I argued with her that she was very rude and completely wrong. So, I did what all good Mum’s do and I asked Alexa her response: “To invite someone over to watch Netflix as an excuse to hang out with them usually with romantic intentions.”

Anyhow enough negativity you read the blog for a laugh, not to listen to my woes and maybe it isn’t appropriate to share them but we are all friend’s here right?

So, after my last blog I was feeling pretty smug Tom was going to have to run the Cockermouth 10k in fancy dress and I wasn’t. This made me quite happy and I had great fun winding him up about the fact I am actually going to make him do it dressed as Mary Poppins. What I failed to realise is that some of you are absolute buggers. I published my blog on the 30th and said that the deal was if £300 wasn’t raised by the end of the month I didn’t have to dress up. So, guess what happened. At 10.22pm on the 31st over £300 was achieved and we are now at £355. I was absolutely raging, honestly I was proper throwing a strop. Is it not bad enough that I have to run the 10k in training for the GNR, but now I have to do it in fancy dress; and as if that wasn’t bad enough Tom is going to make me dress as Mary Poppins friend the Chimney Sweep! I mean seriously why can’t I wear something sexy and inspirational like Wonder woman, why do I have to be a chimney sweep! It absolutely sucks to be me.

Anyhow back to the running, so I finally decided on Sunday afternoon I would do my run as I had to squeeze it in before my Monday Tom run. The weather was rubbish, it was cold and raining but my lovely daughter Maddy agreed to come with me under the proviso we only did 3 miles. Awesome, I had some company. So off we went. It started well but after about half a mile Maddy decided that actually she was a diva too just like Sophie ((it must be an age thing) and decided she couldn’t run anymore and would walk. Being the fantastic Mother I am I ran off, after all I have an event to train for. But I had no headphones or distraction so it was all time in my head which isn’t always a safe place. I have decided that I can’t run with people who are worse than me because I find it really frustrating as I don’t want to stop or slow down, and I can’t run with people like Tom as they run a million miles ahead of me and this stresses me out even more. Although in fairness to Tom he doesn’t often run ahead of me, more so because he is scared that I will trip him up or throw myself to the floor than him being nice.

I passed Maddy on the way back down the cycle track and gave her some words of encouragement telling her how proud of her I was for coming on the run and how she can do it. She started running again but stopped after a minute so I just shouted “see you at home” and headed off. When I got home I was feeling quite smug as I had done my fastest run yet 10.04-minute miles.

On Monday I was excited to see Tom as I wanted to tell him how quickly I ran. As I was loading up Strava I noticed he had done a lunchtime run. His mile speed 7.5 minutes needless to say I wasn’t happy even when I think I am doing well I am still nowhere near Tom. Once again it was raining but Tom and I agreed we would go for a six miler. He spent some of the run pep talking me on the fact that I mustn’t focus on times and I am out doing it and that was what was important. Surprisingly for me the run was pretty drama free. I do find myself laughing at the breadth of conversations Tom and I cover on our runs and when I tell him I am struggling his response is “well you are still speaking” and my retort is “Yes because otherwise I have to listen to you go on.”

Just a reminder to any new readers who haven’t read my earlier blogs this is a personal blog about my training to do the Great North Run. The reason I am doing the GNR is to raise money for Calderwood House a homeless hostel based in Egremont. It is so important to me to do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself and to help people turn their lives around when their luck is down, and if I can do that by writing a blog that makes people laugh and smile whilst pushing myself out of my comfort zone then i am proud of that.

You can sponsor me at:

https://www.goldengiving.com/fundraising/emma-jayne-gooch-gnr-2019

Until next time…..

Another week has passed and its blog time. This is actually my favourite time of the week, I hadn’t realised how much I was missing writing.

My first run of the week was on Saturday morning. This was my solo run, so once again I did all the essential checks: music, nipples, toilet visit and Strava set. Apparently if you don’t record the run it actually never happened. Once again I invited Maddy (for those of you that don’t remember she is my now 14 year old daughter – God I’m old) if she would like to come with me. She looked at me from under her duvet and just shook her head as if to say “did you really just ask me that.”

So off I set on my own and with the threat of rain in the air. The run was going ok and I noticed a man walking his dog. which set a whole conversation off in my head which I would like to share with you. Why is it so many owners look like their dogs? He was what I would call a quintessential “Marra” you know the type broad shoulders that sway side to side and have the “street swagger” they also wear these God awful “Marra pants” you know what I’m talking about, they are elasticated material jogging bottoms that they wear half way down their bums displaying their underpants. Now really boys this isn’t attractive. Either buy ones that fit you or wear a belt or better still don’t wear them at all. These are also the guys that for some reason, which is beyond me, walk along with their hands holding onto their “Crown Jewels” if you need to hold them maybe you should invest in a good pair of y fronts and whilst you are at it a decent pair of trousers. Anyhow the point of this story is the way he was walking was absolutely identical to the way his bulldog was walking.

The run in itself was pretty uneventful. I managed another 5 miler and got absolutely soaking wet, I talked myself from being amazing and the next super runner to being absolutely shit and should just give up. I did manage to run the whole way but my knee was really hurting so I decided to try some of the techniques Tom had been teaching me, but it comes with a huge problem. When I run normally I have the expected amount of wobble, but when I run this new way my bum wobbles like a bowl of Jelly. Now I’m quite proud of my bum and spent a good two years building and shaping it, but I was like an absolute heffalump. Actually talking about my bum reminds me of another story that I have to share with you, but probably shouldn’t. I was in Risley last week and I went to the gym. So I walked from my room through the hotel to the gym. I was about half way through my workout when I suddenly realised my trousers were inside out. So I did what any girl would do in this situation and I text my girlfriends for advice. I asked them if I should retreat from the gym or just carry on. At this point I should share that these training pants had all the information printed on the bum so on my backside was a whole story of where they were made and how to wash them. The response from Claire was not all that unexpected and it was “take a picture” Really? I was in a gym full of people with inside out trousers – how an earth was I going to take a picture of my bum. However as is always the case with me I gave into peer pressure and I am unsure what was more embarrassing; wearing my pants inside out or being seen photographing my bum. Such is the drama of my life that after the gym I decided I would have a swim. Now I am not the best swimmer and can only do breast stroke, but I was going to do some lengths. Then it happened, this man who must have been about 85 gave me that look. It was the look that said I am faster than you and I am going to do faster lengths. This immediately turned on my competitive streak as there was no way this man was going to beat me. So it was tough, but his arse was mine and I was feeling really proud of myself. All of a sudden it was like he had a rocket up his bum and he was going really fast I was trying really trying but he was whooping my arse. What an earth had happened. Finally I stopped for breath and looked over at the jacuzzi and there sat smiling at me was my 85 year old man and in his place was a very fit man in his late 30’s who I had not seen swap places with Mr 85. Feeling shattered I decided I would have a quick relax in the steam room. It was busy but I sat down and my swimming costume made the loudest fart sound you could ever imagine (I know that you ladies reading will absolutely understand this) but instead of going “that was my costume” I stupidly went “Owwww excuse me I wasn’t expecting that” I have never seen a steam room clear so quickly in my life.

Any how back to the running. Monday was my Tom day he was finally back from Skiing and I was super excited to see him and tell him how well I had been doing, until he messaged me and said that we would be doing hill sprints. In that moment I hated him. Why could I not just run why do I have to do sprints and hills. He seemed to find my distaste rather amusing so I decided that payback is a bitch and as we are only at £255 raised that means he has to do the Cockermouth 10k in fancy dress and I don’t. (The deal was £300 by the end of the month to have me in fancy dress) so instead of Shera I am going to buy him a Mary Poppins outfit. He absolutely hates me calling him that and I hate hills so therefore we are even. As expected the hill sprints were horrible and they were all rocky, muddy and slippery and Tom was about a mile ahead of me which was really annoying. He makes it looks so easy and I was not happy. On the run back to the science park he was a long way in front and I had a stitch and I was having to walk a bit as it was so slippery. I suddenly saw an opportunity to fall over and pretend I was really injured and make Tom carry me back to the car. I was so tempted and I nearly did it but the bugger turned round and I knew he knew what I was thinking so I struggled on with the smug feeling of at least he would have to run dressed as Mary Poppins.

Thank you so much to all of you have sponsored so far I really appreciate it as do the fantastic people of Calderwood House. If you would like to sponsor please follow the link:

https://www.goldengiving.com/fundraising/emma-jayne-gooch-gnr-2019

Until next time……

This week I’m feeling pretty awesome, and I definitely have my chufty pants on. Once again this is a two-part blog to reflect my two runs.

On Sunday I had committed to myself that I would go out on a run. I woke up on Sunday morning and I was in a bad mood. It’s not often I wake up in a bad mood, but I was definitely Little Miss Grumpy. Then my friend was messaging me telling me about how terribly she is being treated by someone. Now obviously if you upset one of my amazing friends you upset me so now, I was in a doubly bad mood. I decided I would channel my anger into my run! I was having it; this run was mine! So, I did all my pre-run checks. This time I had eaten and waited the hour, my sports bra was correctly positioned to ensure no nipple rubbing, my playlist had been pimped and I was ready to go.

I started my run with Tom’s words in my ears. Keep running at your comfortable pace, I had my route mapped out in my head and I was feeling strong. All was going well until I turned down the path to the cycle track and saw 3 runners. Great – 3 runners behind me that were going to pass me which would completely demotivate me. I know I am meant to be holding a comfortable pace but I can’t let those buggers pass me. I pushed harder than I wanted to and I could feel them right behind me there was no way they were going to overtake me I just couldn’t deal with that. I would bloody trip them up if they tried to. So here is where I tell you I am super competitive, I actually can’t cope with being crap at something. I would rather not do it at all than come last. I get this particular trait from my Dad. He hates losing so much that he actually refuses to play any games at all. Thankfully I don’t share Dad’s negative outlook on the world in fact I think his negativity is the very reason I am so positive and happy all the time. He tells me “always think the worst and never be disappointed” where I am a “every cloud has a silver lining” type of girl. Hence why I get such joy with calling my Dad regularly just to sing “You are my Sunshine” because my sparkle makes him really cross. I should also share at this point that despite all of that Dad is my absolute favourite person in the whole world and it is because of him and my Mum that I am the person I am and I love them for that.

Anyhow back to the run, after about 2 miles of running against the 3 runners I decided to turn and see how close they were behind me. I carefully turned whilst ensuring not to drop speed and…. they were absolutely nowhere to be seen. That’s when it dawned on me when I came down the path on to the cycle track, they must have then gone up the path off the cycle track and they were never behind me. Damn my competitive nature. Chuckling to myself I slowed my speed to my “comfortable pace” and got myself back in the zone. The run was going well when I suddenly felt a rumble in my tummy. I thought back to my last run with Tom when we were discussing what to eat before a run and he said to try different things but make sure I leave an hour before running. Well I decided to have granola as a bit of a treat and I waited an hour but it seemed that it wasn’t a good running partner. I then thought back to our “what if I need the toilet” conversation. I suddenly started to panic. If this went wrong, I would have to find a safe secluded “area” where I would be able to   deal with this problem. The next mile was distracted by looking for possible spots to fertilise. Thankfully the need passed naturally without a need to stop and I became distracted by my music. It was actually really good and I was loving it. Before I realised it, I had created a new sport. It’s called “run dance” your legs are running whilst your upper body is dancing. My goodness did I gets some funny looks. I suddenly thought what Tom might say if he was there: “if you can dance you obviously aren’t running fast enough” – Well what Tom doesn’t know doesn’t hurt him. Until he reads this blog of course and then I’m screwed! All the distraction, competiveness and built up anger was obviously good for me as I managed a whole 5 miles! Yes, you read that right I ran 5 miles!

Monday was run two and as Tom was on holiday, lovely Sophie who works with me said she would come with me. I was surprised by this as ever since I have known Sophie, she has always been going to the gym but never quite got there. With that said though last year she did do the Great North Run so I was sure she would smash the run that was planned. One thing you should know about Sophie is she is a complete Diva. I mean seriously, if you think I am a drama queen, times me by 10 and you might get somewhere close to Sophie. I knew if nothing else this was going to be entertaining but I was also looking forward to me bossing someone else around rather than Tom bossing me!

So, we started off our run around Westlakes and actually Sophie didn’t moan that much other than saying she was dying. The second loop was sprints and OMG this was the funniest thing. Now you shouldn’t be unkind when someone is trying but Sophie actually sprints like a Diva. Hands out at angles and knees high, it was hilarious. After I had finished laughing, we continued and this is when she started to moan and say she couldn’t do it and she was actually going to die. I suddenly realised the difference between Sophie and I. She is a proper Diva and when she says she can’t she just stops and doesn’t do it she doesn’t care what anyone else says she does what she wants and she wanted to stop. Whereas I carry on, even though I swear and moan and cry and feel anger and hate I still push on. I guess I am not a diva after all.

Don’t forget I am doing this blog and the running to raise money for Calderwood House Homeless Hostel. We are currently sitting at £242.50 raised which means Tom and I are doing the Cockermouth 10k and Tom is having to do it in fancy dress. Remember if we get to £300 by the end of the month, I will have to do it in fancy dress too. A big thank you to all of you who have already sponsored, your love and support means the world to me!

https://www.goldengiving.com/fundraising/emma-jayne-gooch-gnr-2019

Until next time…..

Imagine the scene! It’s Saturday morning, it’s been the first full week back at work and I am still not feeling great. I am tired and I am laying snuggled up in a warm bed – then guilt hits and the voice chirps up in my head “you said you would do two runs this week and you haven’t! How do you expect to do the Great North Run if you can’t even motivate yourself to get out of bed? You should be ashamed of yourself blah blah blah.”

So I dragged myself out of bed as quietly as I could so as not to wake everybody up. As I was staying at my friends house I was going to be running around Whitehaven and I had a route in mind. This was going to be my first solo run without Mary Poppins aka Tom so I set up my downloaded “running album” to start my journey.

I started off strong and was actually feeling rather pleased with myself. I decided as I was obviously such an accomplished runner I should take on the “pelican hill” and loop road back down to the house. So I started the climb and holy shit this wasn’t even funny. First came the sick rising in my throat, then came the realisation that my right nipple really really hurt (I later discovered that whilst trying to dress and leave the house as quickly and quietly as possible I had managed to fold the padding in my sports bra in two meaning I was subject to some serious nipple rubbing.) Then came the anger, but not only at my inability to run up the hill but because the so called “running album” was a load of shite and rather than motivating me and pushing me on it just made me cry! And right there halfway up the hill I stopped running and started to walk in between huge sobs! I was beside myself and spent a good 5 minutes telling myself why I was rubbish and how I would never be able to do it and why was I even trying. I reminded myself how many people I would be letting down by being so awful at running. I thought about Calderwood House and how many people go there having given up on themselves and on life, but how they turn themselves around. I thought about the lovely Rachel Holliday and how inspiring she is (although on reflection whilst writing this, she isn’t bloody doing the GNR! Mind you she did so the New Year dip.) and then that led me to think about my wonderful inspiring girlfriends and how they support and encourage me in everything I do, and how they motivate me and love me regardless and that put my head back in the game. So what if I had to walk a bit I was out there and I was doing it! – go me!

On Monday was my weekly Tom run and we decided that instead of a Westlakes Run we would go on the cycle path. After Saturdays run I wasn’t very sure how I felt about it, but I knew Tom would sort me out. We spoke about finding a comfortable pace rather than trying to push too fast and I actually found one which was bearable. The run was going well and I was actually kind of feeling a bit proud of myself until Tom decided to hit me with “now you are comfortable running I want you to run as fast as you possibly can between the next two bridges” – which incidentally isn’t a short distance. I argued with him and swore at him but he was immovable so I had no choice. We started and out came my running Tourette’s and he turned to me smiled sweetly and said “if you have enough breath to swear at me you are not running fast enough” Omg at that moment I actually full on hated him! And instead of swearing at him I visualised him falling over and me being able to casually run past him and say “come on Tom you aren’t running fast enough”!

Before I end and I do appreciate it’s a long one today. Last week I said if I got to £100 sponsorship I would do the Cockermouth 10k well we hit that so thank you to all of you that sponsored and I will be attempting that in March. I also said if we hit £200 Tom would do it in fancy dress. We are just £7.50 away from this so please do sponsor as I have a Shera (princess of power – He-mans sister) outfit that would look amazing on him.

Tom has agreed to this on the proviso if we hit £300 by the end of the month I also have to do it in fancy dress!

https://www.goldengiving.com/fundraising/emma-jayne-gooch-gnr-2019

Until next time…..